In the midst of all those damn back-to-school flyers,
that ‘welcome-back’ memo rousted you like
Bill Murray’s alarm clock in Groundhog Day
and now here you sit, trapped in consecutive year #34
conscripted… called back into action… and mustering
in the media center once again, for another marathon
day-long, day-1 BRIEFing
Look… we’re all educators here blah-blah-blah
and I know you all know how to read blah-blah
so there’s no point in my reading the entire
Faculty Handbook to you today blah-blah and
I’m not going to insult your intelligence by
doing that blah-blah however… blah et cetera
ad infinitum …let’s all turn with me to page one…
(and monotonously metamorphose into monastic monks
fingering the respective rosary beads of well-worn rules & regs)
introduction of new staff… (poor bastards)
freshman orientation day… (déjà vu all over again)
first assembly… (just before the running of the bulls)
mid-quarter progress reports
(gettin’ my mind right over here, boss!)
forming a united front on ALL OF the crucial educational issues…
(a) gum-chewing
(b) inappropriate displays of affection
(c) food &/or drink in the classrooms
(d) hallway passes
(e) appropriate times for student bathroom use (forgive me father for I have sinned)
the duty roster
(Hey wait a minute-- I chaperoned the prom LAST year, Goddamnit!)…
and you feel that creaking old
school calendar carousel
gearing up for that
one last go-round
around the sun…
